"Should I Go Back to My Ex?"

"Should l go back to my ex?" ls that the question that you are trying to find answer to this very minute? If it is, then you are not alone.

Thousands of people, or perhaps millions of people, across the globe equally ponder about that very same question every single day of the week. So, it is not as if yours is a unique situation. Far from it.

Pertinent Questions to Consider

It is not surprising that there seem to be as many relationship advice relating to going back to one's ex as there are relationship counsellors. After all, this is a popular subject indeed. Hence, no one can claim that there is a shortage of relationship advice with respect to this subject - both on the internet and elsewhere away from the internet.

So, what is the right and proper thing for you to do? Should you go back to your ex?

Come to think of it. Is it really reasonable to go back to your ex? How are you sure that it is not your heart that is gaining the better part of your usual rational self?

Ok. Let's reason on this matter for a moment. What justification do you have for wanting to go back to your ex?

What about the issues which led to the breakup of your relationship with your ex? Have they been sufficiently addressed, if at all, to warrant your going back to your ex?

If not, do you not think that returning to your ex would eventually do more harm than good?

Pertinent questions indeed, or, don't you agree?

Another Side of the Divide

Alright. But, some persons may be pertubed by anyone contemplating, even if it is for a second, the possibility of going back to his or her ex. They may wonder why anyone in their sane mind would want to return to his or her ex.

They may reason as follows: "Is it not like returning to one's vomit? If the relationship didn't work out the first time, what is the guarantee that it would work out if given a second chance?"

Certainly, there is no doubt about it that when relationships turn sour, it leads to unhappiness on the part of one or both parties in the relationship. Indeed, it is very rare to see dating or married couples who are happy with the breakup of their relationship.

While it is highly advisable and applaudable to end a relationship peacefully and gracefully, this often is not the case in many relationships that have virtually become dead. Many persons end their relationship on a very bitter note. In some extreme cases, many individuals resort to name calling and abusive language when ending a relationship.

Additionally, in some even more extreme cases during a relationship breakup, many persons have equally sworn that "over their dead body" for them to return to their ex. Given that unpleasant scenario, why would anyone now turn around to want to go back to his or her ex? It is puzzling indeed.

So, let us now find out why many people may find returning to their ex appealing after some months and even years of living apart.

Reasons Why Many Contemplate Going Back to Their Ex

Well, it is not unusual for many folks to want to go back to their ex. Certain reasons account for this.

Some of the reasons why many persons contemplate going back to their ex are the very same reasons why others hang on desperately to their dead relationship, without contemplating for a moment the possibility of a breakup of the relationship.

(For a full explanation of what constitute a dead relationship and just why many people hang on to dead relationships, please see the web page: Why People Hang On to Dead Relationships)

Other reasons why many folks contemplate going back to their ex are as follows:

• The presence of children in their relationship or marriage. Children are often a binding factor in a relationship or marriage. So, where there has been a breakup, many folks might consider making up with their ex at least for the sake of the children.
• Loneliness and the inability to find a suitable mate after the passage of a reasonable time.
• Time is a great healer of wounds. Consequently, the recollection of some good times spent with one's ex may make going back to him or her appealing.
• The notion that the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know may make some people want, or even long, to go back to their ex.
• Pressure from family members, friends and colleagues may equally make someone find going back to his or her ex appealing.

What about you? What is your reason for wanting to go back to your ex?

Your reason for wanting to go back to your ex may or may not be included in the reasons given above. But, one thing is certain. You are considering going back to your ex and you are wondering whether you should go back to him or her.

If so, should you go back to your ex?

Should You Go Back to Your Ex?

It would be unwise indeed for me to tell you outright that you should or should not go back to your ex - without first having a complete understanding of why you became estranged or separated from your ex. If I did that, it would be tantamount to giving you an unbalanced relationship advice indeed.

So, what was the circumstances surrounding the breakup of your relationship with your ex? Did he or she fall out of love with you and became involved with someone else?

If not, could it be as a result of the fact that you are no longer compatible with each other in some particular area?

On the other hand, was the problem that of a medical condition that is difficult to find solution to? Was it childlessness in the marriage union? If so, have you been able to go round that barrier to your relationship or marriage and you now have a solution to the problem?

(For help with coping with childlessness in marriage, please see the emotionally-packed article: Help for Childless Married Couples)

Whatever it is that led to the breakup of your relationship or marriage, before you can seriously consider going back to your ex you must satisfy yourself that the conditions which led to the initial breakup of your relationship with your ex have been sufficiently straightened out to warrant your going back to him or her.

Otherwise, you may very well find out later that you hurriedly made up with your ex only to break up again at a much faster rate than you did when you initially broke up with him or her.

Additionally, you must be able to give a positive answer to the following question: does your ex feel strongly about making up with you and reviving your relationship from its abysmal condition?

If not, do not consider going back to him or her - because, if it is you alone that is seeking to revive the relationship, you are certainly courting with trouble and will only meet with utter disappointment in the short or long run.

So, bottom line?

Well, I cannot tell you with certainty to go back to your ex or not. It is only you who can make that decision by yourself after given due consideration to all the factors which led to the breakup of your relationship or marriage in the first place. To this end, this article can serve as a useful guide to helping you reach a wise decision.

Thus, my relationship advice with respect to going back to your ex is: weigh the matter very carefully.

Do not rush going back to your ex. Give it considerable mental thought. Ask for the unbiased, unprejudiced opinion of a trusted friend, if you are in serious doubt.

Additionally, assume that your decision to go back to your ex is a fresh relationship. Therefore, you should adopt all the precautionary measures that you would normally adopt with a new relationship before agreeing to make up with him or her.

It is only by so doing that you can guarantee that your decision to go back to your ex is indeed a wise one and not in vain. Otherwise, it might just be preferable to let go of your erstwhile absymal relationship with your ex and be open to starting a new relationship wherein the wrongs of your old relationship will not repeat itself.

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