Marry Your Best Friend - My
Greatest Relationship Tip Ever!

Relationship puzzle: Do you know why many young men in Africa
die before their 45th birthday?

Do yourself a huge favour! Marry your best friend! Many male folks have made the grave mistake of getting married to the enemy. Do not add to the statistics. Marry your best friend!

If you are not yet married, you might be wondering why l would advise you to marry your best friend. On the other hand, if your are already married, l may just have triggered a chain process of thought in your mind. You just might be wondering to yourself right now: "Did l really marry my best friend?"

But, why marry your best friend? Simple. In order for your days to be very long on God's green earth! Now l have let the cat out of the bag with reference to that relationship quiz above, haven't l? Well, in a moment, l will show you why everyone should marry his or her best friend.

Indeed, "marry your best friend" is the greatest of all the relationship tips available that l can ever be asked to give to any body. YES, YES, YES and YES again! Marry your best friend! I cannot repeat that often enough.

Do l appear to be shouting? Pardon me, please. l simply cannot help it. lt is due to the fact that this issue is at the core of the many relationship problems that couples face in their marriages today.

And that is precisely why many marriages have hit the rock and countless others are on the verge of collapse.

But, as reasonable as this advice may seem, some people hold a different view point on this matter. They do not subscribe to marrying one's best friend.

Arguments Against Marrying One's Best Friend

Many people do not see anything so great in this relationship tip as they feel that there is nothing really so special in marrying one's best friend. Some of the points which they hinge their argument on are as follows:

1. Best friends already know too much about each other for them to ever be able to adapt to each other as a result of being close confidants.

2. When best friends do marry, the tendency is that the marriage loses any excitement for them as a result of the fact that there is nothing new to be learnt about their partner which they did not already know before the marriage.

3. The best of friends are prone to gossip about those they are in a relationship with. So when they become married couples, they tend to choose other people to gossip with about their own marriage!

4. The best of friends are forced to accommodate certain unpleasant faults in the character of their partner which marriage certainly imposes on all married couples.

So, as far as they are concerned, if an intimate but platonic relationship between members of the opposite sex is likely to precipitate an unpleasant outcome after marriage, then it is best that best friends do not progress into becoming lovers and married couples.

In essence, they reach the conclusion that best friends should remain as best friends rather than metamorphose into becoming lovers so as not to destroy their friendship!

Understanding What True Friendship is All About

But, honestly speaking, are all the arguments propounded above by those against the idea of marrying one's best friend sustainable enough to justify not marrying one's best friend?

Absolutely not!

Contrary to the argument propounded above against marrying one's best friend, it is my candid view that lovers will be doing themselves the greatest good if they marry their best friend. Anyone canvassing a different view point do not have a proper understanding of the meaning of true friendship. So, for the sake of clarity, let us have an understanding of what friendship is all about.

According to the good book: "a good friend sticks closer than a brother and is a brother born for the day of distress". In other words, a good friend is a divine gift that is meant to replace natural relations who fail to live up to what is expected of them.

This is truly enlightening for those contemplating marriage indeed. If the above scenario is the case, is it not better then to marry your best friend who will never desert you but stick by you in the "day of distress" and assist you in weathering the storm? Of course, it is!

Certainly, your natural relations can never be with you 24-7-365/6. It is your life partner - husband or wife - who will. Thus, if you pick the wrong one, you might end up spending the rest of your life feeling miserable and sad almost all the time, if not all the time.

And, my good friend, unhappiness on the part of one of the marriage partner automatically infects the other partner in the marriage. Now, l believe you wouldn't want that to happen to your marriage, would you?

It is just like one of my Facebook friends said, while responding to my note on True Love - A Closer Look, "l can take a bullet for my friend". That is what true friendship is all about! However, this friend of mine also insisted that true friendship does not mean true love. Now, you tell me, is that not a contradiction?

Do Yourself a World of Good!

If you are not yet married, then do yourself a world of good - marry your best friend!
The way l see it is this: when two good friends establish a love relationship together, they stand a better chance of making a meat of that relationship and succeeding at it than those who go into their relationship for other reasons other than long-term friendship and commitment.

And let me quickly add that players do not get into relationships for long-term basis, but simply for their immediate, often selfish gratification. So, if they fail to see any real personal benefits from the relationship any longer, they automatically put an end to the affair and simply move on to someone else.

It is indeed a course of wisdom for anyone contemplating marriage to marry his or her best friend. And do you know why? It has all the advantages of a happy marriage and hardly any heartaches of a distressed marriage. When you fall in love with and eventually marry your best friend, you experience true love, trust and understanding from your partner. There is a unique bond between both of you that is lacking in many relationships today, including many marriages.

Yet, it is not as if when you marry your best friend you experience a trouble-free life. However, when those troubles come, you are better able to overcome them because you have a loyal companion by your side willing to share the burden with you. And, l assure you, a burden half shared is half solved!

I hope you now see where the problem lies in many marriages today. Many married couples do not see their mates as their friends worthy of their trust. That is why any time they are beset with problems they run outside to their relations and peers.

And when they do have misunderstandings with their mates they gossip the matter to their peers while counting on the loyalty and support of their friends against their mates in the conflict. They do not feel that it is best to smoothen things over with their mates in a spirit of mildness and love without any external interference whatsoever.

To this end, a recent remarkable study by a Non-governmental organisation (In Defence of Marriage) of a group of one thousand (1,000) deceased young men across some West African countries (Nigeria inclusive) revealed that many young men in Africa die before their 45th birthday as a result of the troublesome wives that they married.

What a collosal loss and huge waste of the virile and productive youth of Africa. If only they had been wise enough to marry their best friend!

Have You Married Your Best Friend?

Are you presently married? Did you marry your best friend? You did? Great!

Well, if you are already married and you feel that you did not marry your best friend, do not despair. It is not the end of the world. It is not too late to start being good friends with your mate.

Similarly, if your ultimate goal and number one heartfelt desire is for your relationship to be hugely successful, there is no reason why the two of you cannot get down to serious business and start making your relationship work. If you so wish, you can correct the wrongs of the past and really work at making a success of your marriage.

So, where do you start from? In the first place, be honest with yourself and ask yourself why the relationship is not working out. What is it that you want from the relationship? Are you getting it?

Is the relationship making you happy? Has the relationship become a source of endless unbearable pain and heartaches? Do you really want to change all that and turn things around?

When you have finished the self-assessment process, you go ahead and take action.

Communicate. Have a heart-felt conversation with your spouse and really talk things over with the intention of turning things around for the better.

Address the real issues and substance - not vague, shadowy suspicions - that is creating the friction in your marriage as good friends do. The article resolving marital conflicts can surely help in this regard. Take a look at it and read it in the company of your spouse.

When you take the above recommended advice, a spouse who is inclined to change will definitely see the difference in you and you will certainly be amazed at the positive results that will come out of it.

But, if though reconciliation is not forthcoming as expected, there is nothing anywhere which says that you should continue to endure a life of misery and pain at the hands of an insensitive and callous spouse.

You can certainly consider suing for a divorce from an unloving and uncaring spouse.

Or else, what is the objective of continuing to hang on aimlessly to the miserable existence of a loveless and joyless marriage?

But, on the other hand, if you are a man and are not yet married, do not make the same mistake that the study group mentioned above made, please.

Do yourself a world of good. Heed this greatest relationship tip of mine. Marry your best friend!

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