Love Does Not Cost A Thing!

"Love does not cost a thing!" - Author unknown

That love quote is one of my favourite love quotes!

Do you need another love quote?

Okay. How about this other one? "Whether you like it or not, believe it or not, whether it even makes sense to you or not, it is immaterial. All that matter is it is love - not money - that makes the world go round!"

That last love quote is my all-time favourite; and it was coined out by my good self.

Similarly, in my neighbourhood, there is also a popular love quote alluding to the connection between love and money. It goes this way:

"When you have money,
girls will call you honey!
But, when you have no money,
girls will call you monkey!"
- original author unknown

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No Romance Without Finance?

But, is there really a connection between love and money? Well, the way people behave seem to suggest so. The general ideology of people everywhere nowadays is no romance without finance; or, no finance no romance.

Indeed, there is certainly no denying the fact that the present day generation of teenage girls and young girls in their early 20s generally cherish money and material things more - when compared to girls of the same age group a few decades ago.

And that attitude is not limited to girls alone. Their male counterparts generally behave in a similar fashion. The love for money is so great nowadays that some young people can even sell their own mothers in exchange for cold, hard cash! No lie! No joke!

And that is precisely why moral values and an expression of true love has been on a steady decline over the last 30 years across the globe; because of the general prevailing attitude of "get rich or die trying". Just take a look at the global divorce rate statistics for you to understand what l'm talking about here.

As a reflection of this widespread behavioural attitude, Gwen Guthrie sang the song "Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The Rent" some couple of decades ago. Some of the lyrics of the song are as follows:

Boy, nothin in life is free
Thats why Im askin you what can you do for me
Ive got responsibilities
So Im lookin for a man whose got money in his hands

Cause nothin from nothin leaves nothin;
You got to have somethin if you wanna be with me
Oh, life is too serious, love too mysterious
A fly girl like me needs security

Cause aint nothin goin on but the rent
You got to have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me
Aint nothin goin on but the rent
You got to have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me

No romance without finance
I said no romance without finance

(For more great love songs, please see the page, Best Love Songs)

Waoh! That song was the bomb! And do you know why? Whether or not the views expressed by that song is the way Gwen personally felt about the connection between love and money is immaterial.

What is important though is that the song sure captured and still captures the widespread attitude of people everywhere across the globe regarding love and money.

If you think different, then show me a girl who simply cannot be bought! My guess is that it is in the ratio of one to a thousand! For the majority of girls it is no romance without finance! Or, no finance no romance! Pure and simple.

But, wouldn't it make a refreshing change for once if we have more female folks who simply refuse to be bought?

Personally, l do not see any pride of dignity there when you simply yield to the highest bidder!

But, is there really a connection between love and money? (Please see the box below)

Is there a Connection between Love and Money? A Real-life Scenario In order to profer an answer to the connection between love and money, let us consider a real-life scenario; so as to drive the point home. A wealthy man who we will simply refer to as Bill got married to a woman named Gill. Their marriage was the talk of the neighbourhood where they lived - a very high class society wedding - that was so extravagant that people were still talking about that wedding for many weeks after it had long past. When Bill and Gill got married, the man was about 40yrs of age while his wife was about 25yrs. But, there was nothing profoundly spetacular about their married life. It was just another rich married couple's marriage. With the passing of time, they were blessed with three (3) children within the space of five (5) years. And things appeared to be going on smoothly for them. Anyone looking at them at that time would truly envy them - that they had it all. But, all of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, everything started to take a nose-dive for them during their sixth year of marriage. Bill, a big-time contractor in Nigeria, suddenly had all his investments stuck up in various contracts awarded to him by the state government in his area. Due to a change of government, the new administration was very reluctant to pay the backlog of debts which the state owed various contractors at that time. The state government instituted a probe into the activities of its predecessor. The government ordered a review of contracts awarded to all contractors by the former administration. As a result of this, there was no payments made to any contractor registered with the government for two good years. Things became very tough for Mr. Bill and his family. All his money were tied up in the contracts he had executed for the government. Thus, there was no money for him anywhere. To even get any loans from his bank was impossible because he was owing the bank and had exceeded his limits. He had even mortgaged his building to secure a bank loan. The situation was not looking good at all for Mr. Bill. To even pay the rent became a monumental problem for him. He had sold one of his luxury cars to lobby government officials to ensure that his name was included among the first of those to be paid once the government commenced paying its contractors. But, still to no avail. He had also sold another of his luxury cars just for him to feed his family. And to make matters worse, the bank was threatening to recover his building in order to liquidate the loan he was owing them. They had written several letters to him, through their solicitor, to remind him of his indebtedness and giving him an ultimatum to pay up or else the bank would have no option but to take measures to recover their money. lt was at this bleak time in his life that madam Gill decided to display her true colours. She began by saying that she could not understand any of the things that was happening to them, that she did not bargain for any of those things at all. Her voice and demeanor gradually changed. She even went as far as saying that she was too young at 33 to go through this sort of stress - that she did not want to die young! No romance without finance! Of course! In other words, love and money, to her, were children of the same mother - or two sides of the same gold coin - and they could not be separated one from the other! She did not even allow her husband utter a single word while she vent her spleen and frustration at being forced to limit and reduce her extravagancy by the situation which they then found themselves. Before her husband returned from where he went one morning, she was gone, taking their three kids and a few of the possessions that she could carry with her. They became separated for two good years. During that time, they did not call each other for a single second. The man just let them be. He even felt a great relief within himself that his wife left. At first he felt bad, which was the normal reaction of any man. But, then, he started rationalising the whole thing. He started feeling that it was the kindest thing that his wife ever did to him. He was already feeling bad at his inability to provide all the good things of life which he was accustomed to providing them. So, he felt it was like his wife understood the way he was feeling inside and decided to relieve him of his pain by leaving him. Judas Iscariot! Mr. Bill was even worse than his wife. No romance without finance! Indeed! And his own was even much worse because from his own point of view, a poor man does not deserve to be loved by a woman or even get married and have a family. How pathetic indeed! All his family members, friends and colleagues would not hear about him taking his wife back. "Let her go"! They all shouted to him. But, he simply couldn't be dissuaded. Bill made enquiries through his wife's friends and came to discover their whereabouts. (Please see the following web pages why people hang on to dead relationships and how to end a relationship peacefully and gracefully for information on the various reasons why people remain in relationships that are virtually dead and how to put an end to a dead relationship without leaving with a feeling of remorse and guilt) So, once in a while, he would visit them to find out their welfare and to stay and spend some time with them. Despite his grave misconception of no romance without finance, no one could dispute the fact that Bill was a good father though. Eventually, the state government released money to pay all the contractors it was owing and Mr. Bill came into money once again. At exactly the stroke of their tenth year marriage anniversary, he decided to reconcile with his wife and bring her back much to the consternation of family members, friends and his colleagues. And he rewarded her with a brand new Honda CV car which, according to him, "it was meant to wipe her tears clean"! Certainly, no romance without finance!

Indeed, that real-life scenario narrated in the box above raises a whole lot of questions, as follows:

Is there a connection between love and money?

Do you need money to express true love?

What is the meaning of true love?

Should a poor man refrain from getting married and having children because he is not well to do and cannot provide expensive gifts and means of sustenance for his family? For that matter, should he refrain from falling in love altogether?

Should the quality of love be determined by the cost of the gift?

Don't poor people deserve to be loved as much as the rich?

What about the idea that love does not cost a thing? Is it a fact or an unsubstantiated hypothesis?

Love Does Not Cost a Thing!

Personally, l strongly believe that love does not cost a thing! In other words, there should not be a connection between love and money. A man should not need money to express true love. And why is that? Simple! It is because love does not cost a thing! That's why!

l simply cannot repeat that enough! Yes, love does not cost a thing! Humorous, is it? Of course not!

But, looking at the real-life scenario above once again, it is obvious that the likes of Mr. Bill feels that there is a connection between love and money. In other words, he feels that a man needs money to express his love for his wife.

So, he feels that his wife was justified for leaving him when he suddenly fell from grace to grass. He also feels that a poor man does not deserve to be loved. l ask you. Does that sound reasonable? Don't poor people - or poor men, to be precise - deserve to be loved as much as the rich? Of course they do!

So, should a poor man refrain from getting married and having children because he is not rich and cannot provide expensive gifts and means of sustenance for his family? Should he refrain from falling in love at all, for that matter? Of course not!

There is one very pathetic relationship counsellor that l used to know who always taught young girls that before two individuals think of marriage, they should consider their pockets.

According to her, "If a man cannot feed himself, will he be able to feed his wife and children?"

That is one hell of a relationship counsellor indeed. Just look at the utter trash that she used to feed the young gullible girls. She reconstructed MATRIMONY to become MATRI-MONEY.

By her definition, marriage means "matrimony is the combination of two words: MATRI - the shape of - and MONEY".

In other words, according to her definition above, the shape of marriage is MONEY. "We need money to EXPRESS True Love." She would insist. But, you know as well as l do that that is not true! It is a fairy tale! No! In fact, it is a hocus-pocus badder-dash, if l ever heard one!

Now, let me tell you about the meaning and the cost of true love.

Love, genuine, undying, true love is being there for your partner, not when things are going on smoothly and hitch-free, but when he or she needs you the most. Additionally, it is expressed unconditionally without promise of monetary or material gifts or even sexual gratification and irrespective of whether it is convenient or not for the person expressing it to do so.

Hence, the person possessing love - true love, that is - for another, usually the opposite sex, simply expresses the deep emotional feeling that he or she has towards the other without waiting to be prompted or motivated by gifts in kind or cash.

Consequently, the person possessing true love gives up his or her own personal preferences and desires and makes sacrifices on behalf of his or her partner, whenever necessary, which may even require dying on behalf of his or her partner.

To this end, the person possessing true love does not primarily seek to take. The loving person takes into consideration the needs and feelings of his or her partner, regarding his or her own personal needs and interests as secondary. The person possessing true love gives, gives and yet seek further ways to give.

That is the meaning of true love. Any other professed love which has money and financial reward as its basis is a fair-weather love and is not true love at all! In other words, true, genuine, undying love does not cost a thing! That is the only cost of true love. You will see why love does not cost a thing in a short while.

For more information on the meaning of true love, please see the web page: true love defined.

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How Should the Quality of Love be Measured?

In the same vein, the quality of true love should not be measured in terms of the cost of gift purchased. In the case of Mr. Bill, he not only believed that as a poor man he did not deserve to be loved and cared for by a woman, but he also believed, quite erroneously, that the quality of his love should be determined by the cost of the gift he purchased for his wife. How sad indeed!

So, if Bill had bought a simple bouquet of flowers for her to reconcile with her, rather than the very expensive car that he got for her, she would not have valued it. How truly sad! That is not true love at all; because true love does not cost a thing!

Alright, let us stretch this a little further. If Mr. Bill wanted to display to his wife display that the quality of his fair-weather love was very great indeed, then why didn't he buy her a private jet; if indeed it was the most expensive gift that he was looking to buy for her on their anniversary?

Anyway, let us forget about Mr. Bill and his fair-weather love of a wife and do a neater job of this write-up!

Why Love Does Not Cost a Thing

Do you know why love does not cost a thing? It is because money does not guarantee happiness in a relationship and even marriage. If it does, wealthy people would not experience separation or even a divorce.

And just to remind you that poor people marry too and many of them do not break up after eight years of marriage - only to make up again after three good years of living apart with the bribe of a flashy car - as if that is what love is all about.

Yes, poor people deserve to be loved as much as the rich. Personally, l even feel that money in a relationship is an unncessary distraction. And that is because it does not afford the partners a chance to prove their love to be true and undying, tried and tested.

Consequently, a wealthy man might scream and make a nuisance of himself in his neighnourhood or even the world at large through the internet, "l found true love and l can help you find true love too!"

But, on what basis does he rest his self-assured confidence? Has his professed true love been tried and tested like a piece of metal that has gone through a heated furnace and come out stronger?

Yes, indeed! Love, true, genuine, undying love does not cost a thing! And you do not need any money whatsoever to express true love. But that is not say that occasional exchange of gifts among lovers is wrong.

However, the love expressed should not be based on such occasional gifts, as if the love was being bought. On the other hand, the greatest gift that you can give your partner is to be there for him or her when the chips are down and he or she needs you the most.

If that is not the case in your relationship, then it means that your relationship is a fair-weather one indeed. And what is a fair-weather relationship? It is a relationship where monetary and financial reward serve as the sole basis for the relationship. Remember Mr. Bill and Mrs. Gill?

The easiest way for you to have a fuller understanding of a fair-weather relationship is that which a man has with a harlot. Thus, a man may decide to patronize the services of a harlot, but love, much less true love, is absent in the brief relationship. It is purely a financial transaction; that is, buying and selling. Nothing more. Nothing less. A fair-weather relationship is like that.

A fair-weather relationship is not the best for anyone. And that is because fair-weather relationships have a specific life span.

True, genuine, undying love should be cherished by all because it lasts a lifetime.

Contrary to what many people think, you do not need any money whatsoever to express true love. Yes, genuine, enduring, undying true love does not cost a thing!

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