How to Conduct A Date

Many men express anxiety when dating a girl. But, dating a girl need not be subject to tense and anxious moments. This page therefore analyses in detail how to conduct a date, either as a first date or as an ongoing process of the wooing chain.

On the other hand, if you have been interacting on the internet with someone of the opposite sex for weeks and even months now, those interactive sessions obviously qualify as dating. However, it is a different kind of dating; because the two of you may not see each other eye to eye, except of course with the aid of a web cam.

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But, then, a certain degree of familiarity would have developed over time as a result of the frequent interactions on the internet. Thus, it is not unusual for couples who have engaged in online dating for a very long time before eventually having contact physically to feel that they have known their mates all their lives.

However, before you take the route of online dating, you should be aware that there are hidden dangers with conducting dating on the internet. For valuable tips regarding online dating and the precautionary measures to adopt to protect yourself while dating online, please see the following web pages: Online Dating Tips and Online Romance Caution.

Similarly, couples engaged in online dating can equally learn a thing or two from information contained on this page.

When persons of the opposite sex indicate interest in each other, often initiated by the male, either through verbal or non-verbal (body language) communication, they must of necessity arrange and go out on a first date.

There is no doubt whatsoever that the first date is a very important point in every love relationship. The simple reason is that it is the first meeting between the couple who have agreed to go into a relationship. As such, the first date should be viewed as a part of the natural wooing process and so should be treated with the importance that it truly deserves.

Additionally, just like it is with every other human endeavour, the success or failure of the first date depends largely on advance preparation and planning. To this end, some of the important points to take into consideration while conducting a first date are as follows:

• Pick her up: Be the one to pick her up for the date - even if you do not own a car. I know that this is not a popular practice in many regions in Africa. Hitherto, what many people have been used to in many places is for dating couples to arrive separately for a date. Thus, it is highly recommended that you pick up your girl on the first date.
• Do Not Be Extravagant: It would be folly on your part to be extravagant on your first date by taking your girl to the most expensive bar, eatery or restaurant in town.
  
  If you try to live above your income and your regular living standard to try to impress your girl or lady on a first date, that would amount to living a lie - making out to be something that in reality you are not. Additionally, you will only end up creating problems for your relationship long after the first date is past.
  
  Sooner or later, your girl will surely find out the true state of your finances. What do you think will then become of your new relationship if that should happen?
• Do Not Borrow Clothes, Body Accessories and Other Items: Never, never, never, NEVER borrow clothes, body wears and accessories, a car and other items in order to impress your girl. Be presentable and very neat, but in your own body wears and accessories.
  
  Additionally, if you must borrow a car for the sake of convenience, do not lie about the ownership of the car.
  
  Thus, if your girl makes a comment about the car being beautiful, do not cook up a story like this: "Oh, the car. This is just one of my baby toys that I use for special occasions like this one. I have other luxury cars that I hardly make use of".
  
  Simply tell the story exactly as it is. Your girl will not kill you if you simply say: "Oh, the car. Actually, it's not mine. It belongs to a friend of mine who was gracious enough to lend it for my use for this evening". Is it not much more better that way?
  
  What if she decide to leave you because you do not own a car? Then let her leave! She was not meant for you in the first place. Additionally, she is just a fair-weather friend and most probably a gold-digger. Believe me, you are better off without her - if it is indeed true love that you seek.
  
  I assure you that what will become of your relationship is better imagined than experienced. Remind me to tell you one of these days what happened to a very foolish man who borrowed just about everything on himself and in his house in order to get married to the girl of his dreams.
  
  (For an incisive discuss on why love should not cost a thing, please see the web page: Love Does Not Cost a Thing!)
• Build and Develop Trust from the First Date: Trust is one the basic building blocks of a successful relationship as well as marriage. So, by all means, endeavour to be trustworthy from the first date.
  
  Consequently, do not lie for any reason whatsoever. Additionally, do not cook up stories about your financial position, properties, family background, educational background or other such information about yourself in order to impress your girl on your first date.
  
  For your information, lying never did anybody any good. Ask "players" they will tell you - except of course you do not want a long term stable relationship, but prefer jumping from one girl to another.
• Understanding is golden: You and your partner need to understand yourself right from day one of your relationship. As a matter of fact, understanding is the key to the success of any love relationship and even marriage.
  
  Indeed, the problem with many relationships nowadays is that dating couples do not take sufficient interest in knowing the person that they are in a relationship with. Going beyond the basic needs of your partner and finding out your partner's tastes and preferences in various matters can surely help.
  
  So, endeavour to make wise use of the first date to glean valuable information about your partner from him or her so as to develop a deep understanding of him or her and form a close bond from day one of your relationship.
• Notice significant details about your woman. Actions, they say, speak louder than words. So, show by your simple actions that you truly have deep-seated emotions for your partner. How to do this?
  
  Take note of her appearance and offer your opinions about it. In addition, do not be afraid to initiate possessive touch, either of her hair or hands, in a non-sexual possessive way. It communicates to her that you truly care about her.
  
  As one online reference work says: "Women don't just notice details, they use them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men who notice these details".
• Be the dominant partner during the date: As a man, you should be the dominant partner in the first date. Lead her and let her follow, but with gentle paces so that you do not leave her too far behind. Wait for her when need be, open doors for her and allow her be the first to walk through before you do.
  
  Catch up with her without seeming to run. Draw up a chair for her and ensure that she is comfortably seated before you do. If she is wearing an outer coat and need to take it off, be the one to do it for her.
  
  Once seated, ask her what she would have. If there is a menu, take a look at it and then show it to her. Make a suggestion for her with an explanation of why you think that your suggestion would be perfect for her. But, if she does not go along with your suggestion, allow her make her choice.
  
  While you are awaiting to be served with your order, ask her about herself. You can say something like: "Tell me about yourself, Ann". Remember that women love to hear you call them by their names. So, call her by name as frequently as you can.
  
  Additionally, show her that you want to learn more about her with conversations in which both of you share your thoughts, likes and dislikes.
• Make her Laugh and be totally at ease in your company. Humor can bring instant connection in a conversation. So, use it at the right time and get her to laugh. Laughing also removes all tense and akwardness in a dating session.
  
  As an example, let me relate my own personal experience which I had with a girl that I recently became acquainted with. I took my girl out on a first date. During the dating session, I followed to the letter all the suggestions that you see here.
  
  I made my girl laugh continuously with every little thing that I could find. The delay in the service was a perfect opportunity to create fun. I also invented my own funny story which got the girl giggling all through. And when it came time to pay the bill, I just looked at the bill for a second and made a mock exclamation:
  
  "Sweet Jeeeeez! What we have spent in just an hour is enough to feed a family of five for a whole week in this country!" That got her laughing uncontrollably. I could also tell by the bemused look on the faces of other customers who were at the restaurant at the time that they enjoyed the joke too.
  
  But, if you find it difficult to think of any funny story or joke, you may simply recall any previous experience when someone else made you laugh or use a joke which you heard from a television programme or motion picture.
  
  You may even quote the source of your joke. Do not feel that this would diminish her value or estimation of you. Quite to the contrary, she would have an impression that you are very knowledgeable in many matters.
• Maintain eye contact when speaking to her: By always looking into her eyes when speaking to her, you will give her the impression that you are really taking an interest in her and she has your complete undivided attention.
• It takes two to tango: As a lady on a date, you must assume that the wooing period on the part of your man is over. After all, you have agreed to date him and possibly begin a new relationship with him. So, get off your high horse and start behaving like his girl. Do not allow him to carry on a monologue and leave all the talking to him alone as if you are not part of the date.
  
  Respond when he asks you a question and use any pause on his part to find something to talk about - either his work, educational background, neighbourhood or family background. On the whole, contribute positively to making the first date a success by finding out his opinion on a wide range of subjects, such as marriage, family life, sex, etc.
• Express your thoughts processes and opinions so as to communicate: Communicating your thoughts and opinions might seem easy in theory, but certainly not so in reality. Everybody has interesting thoughts floating in their mind. However, only a few individuals can communicate their thoughts effectively.
  
  Thus, in order to communicate effectively, you need to be a good listener. Endeavour to listen and really listen while your patner is talking in order to achieve two things. One, to understand completely what your partner has told you. And two, in order to respond intelligently with the right response to your partner.
  
  However, if you are naturally shy and you find it a herculian task to carry on a simple conversation, please see the web page: How to Woo a Girl for useful tips on how to overcome shyness and timidity.
• Mutual respect should be uppermost in your mind: Show deep respect for your partner's views and opinions. It is possible that you may disagree on some areas.
  
  Show that you are sensitive about his or her feelings and emotions by not unjustly criticising his or her viewpoints or opinions. Consequently, as the man, be assertive, yet respectful, in expressing your own opinions. It is a free world after all, isn't it?
  
  On the other hand, if the issue being discussed is becoming heated and contentious, you may tactfully change the subject.
• Just be yourself: The greatest tip I can give for conducting a first date is for you to just be yourself. Do not try to be someone else. Endeavour to make yourself stand out. Show her the real you. After all, both of you are trying to understand each other as new lovers. So, endeavour to understand the kind of person that she is. And leave room for just about enough to build upon on subsequent future dates.
• Take her home: When you have completed your first date, do not just leave your girl to find her way home all by herself. Take her home, even if you do not have a car.
  
  It communicates to her that you care about her welfare and wish to see her arrive home in one piece. Additionally, it is only normal and natural that since you picked her up that you should be the one to take her home.
  
  You may also use the opportunity to know where she lives - in the event that you arrived separately for the first date. Just see her to the door and take your leave, if she does not invite you into her home.

On the whole, do not conduct a first date as if you are attending a formal funeral service. The objective of the first date should be to get to know who your partner really is.

It is true that you cannot know everything about your partner within just an hour or two of spending time together.

But, you should lay a good foundation in this area to build upon during the weeks and months ahead after the first date is past.

Additionally, another objective that you want to fix firmly in your mind is to make your company highly desirable to your partner as much as you possibly can.

Thus, as a man taking a girl out on a first date, endeavour to make it as lively and enjoyable as you can in order to lay a good foundation for a long term relationship and even marriage.

So, how do you know that your first date with your girl was successful and you have melted away all her resistance and really touched her heart? Well, simple.

If at the end of your first date, your girl gives you a well-deserved kiss and whisper softly in your ears: "I really enjoyed myself tonight, Chris. When will I see you again?", then you know that your first date was a huge success and you truly deserve an award.

There is no doubt about it whatsoever that the first date is perhaps the most crucial point of a new relationship as it is comparable to the foundation of a new building. Thus, the first date can be used to lay a good foundation and plan for the success of a new relationship.

On the other hand, after the first date is past, all efforts should be made to sustain the magic of the first date in order to keep the fires of the relationship continuously burning. Consequently, all the proper etiquettes or code of behaviour relating to the first date should be carefully observed for all other dating sessions by dating couples.

Additionally, it is common for dating couples to become very familiar with each other and grow into a pattern of taking their relationship for granted. Thus, it is very important that dating couples who have spent months and years together in their relationship relive activities that they engaged in during the wooing period leading to dating in order for the fire in their relationship not to wane or die off altogether.

We will consider this in greater detail in the book: "Achieving the Perfect Blend in Your Relationship", which has been scheduled to be released before the second half of 2011.

That book promises to be the bomb! And l believe that you do not want to miss having a copy of that yet-to-be-released book in your personal library.

Meanwhile, for a more detailed explanation of what dating is all about, its origin and how to conduct other dating sessions following the first date, please see the web page: Dating a Girl.

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