When and How to End a Relationship

Have you been contemplating how to end a relationship gracefully and peacefully in an atmosphere devoid of bitterness and rancour?

Yes, you are? That's great then - because this page discusses when and how to end a relationship peacefully and gracefully. But, before we go into the discussion proper, let us provide a basis for this discuss. And that is: why do you wish to end your relationship?

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Is there any particular cogent reason why you wish for your relationship to end? Could it be that the relationship has lost all meaning for you and you are no longer contented with the relationship? Has the relationship suddenly become an unnecessary burden to you rather than serve as a source of unbridled bliss and joy?

When to End a Relationship -
Where to Start From

If the above points in the last paragraph are the grounds upon which you seek to end your relationship, then it means that your relationship has attained a lopsided relationship status. In other words, it means that your relationship is devoid of 50-50 love.

Personally, I strongly recommend 50-50 love for everyone who genuinely seeks true, genuine, undying love - that is, the ideal and perfect love relationship where there is mutual love, trust, understanding and commitment towards making the relationship work. That is the only way that you can be happy in a relationship.

Usually, it is always better to love someone and be loved in return. A one-sided love affair is not the best for anyone. Thus, when one of the parties in a relationship is the sole individual who has to make all the compromises and sacrifices while the other party simply cannot be bothered about the success or failure of the relationship, then it is time to end the relationship, simply put it behind you and forge ahead.

l also believe that it is by far better not to start a relationship that is devoid of true love than it is to end a relationship. But, many people realise often too late that they started a relationship with someone who does not share the same level of commitment as they do to making the relationship work.

Do you fall within this category of people? Is that true in your own situation? Are you in a relationship where you alone is committed to making the relationship work; whereas your partner simply cannot be bothered? What then should you do about it? Where should you start from, if you desire to put an end to such a lopsided loveless relationship?

Where to start from? Well, it is always best to start by conducting a relationship assessment to find out the state of affairs in your relationship - if at all your relationship is salvageable. You may use the true love calculator to determine the degree of love in your relationship or marriage.

l strongly believe too that everyone in a relationship are well acquainted with the state of affairs in their relationships. Additionally, after conducting the relationship assessment as recommended above, it should be pretty obvious when the relationship is no longer working and, when that happens, it may just be best to end the relationship.

On the other hand, if you are just recovering from a previous relationship breakup, it is a good idea to set clear principles and guidelines about the qualities that you desire in your ideal mate from the onset before you agree to commence a new relationship.

To this end, you may use the true love calculator and the true test of compatibility to help you reach a decision as to whether a particular person who is desirous of starting a relationship is well suited to you or not. By taking this precautionary measure, you will certainly save yourself and your heart a great load of grief occasioned by ending a relationship that has been a source of emotional pain and heartaches.

How to Know When to End a Relationship

As painful as the decision to end a relationship might be, that may just be the only way to save the relationship from total collapse altogether - especially in the case of domestic violence, gross lack of respect and or financial irresponsibility on the part of one or the two parties in the relationship.

The temporary break up may be all that the other partner need to jost him or her back to the reality of the imminent permanent break up of the relationship. If that is indeed the case, the temporary break up will serve as a useful tool to help the couple re-kindle the love they had at first which became endangered as a result of them taking each other for granted.

So, how do you know when to end a relationship?

Well, let's begin this way. lf your relationship has lost all meaning for you and you are no longer contented with the relationship in line with the relationship assessment that you have conducted, then there is absolutely no point hanging on desperately to a dead relationship - or, is there? In other words, when a relationship has become dead, it is time to end the relationship.

What is a dead relationship? A relationship between two members of the opposite sex without love as the basis of such relationship is dead.

In other words, a dead relationship may be described as one that is devoid of true, genuine, undying love and subsequently constitute an unbearable source of emotional burden which threatens to send an individual involved to an early grave. Similarly, the dead relationship becomes psychologically draining - especially to one of the parties to the relationship.

lf that is indeed the case in your own relationship scenario, then your relationship is surely and truly dead. Those factors truly constitute grounds for ending a relationship. Thus, it is time to end your relationship.

It should be noted, however, that ending a relationship, even if it's a loveless one, is often associated with emotional pain and trauma that may leave scars on a person's heart. In such an instance, the committed party who has invested so much in the relationship - both emotionally and financially - often finds it difficult to trust and love again.

Little wonder then that many people simply hang on to dead relationships and live in constant denial rather than face up to the ultimate reality that their relationship is practically dead (See why many people hang on to dead relationships for more info on this). And this is even worse where loveless marriages are involved.

Is Your Relationship Redeemable?

ls it actually possible that your relationship is not beyond redemption - that is, it has not attained the status of a dead relationship and could still be revived?

Could it be that what your relationship or marriage may be experiencing may be a deep coma and that there is possibility of the comatose relationship being revived? A consideration of resolving marital conflicts may likely help in this regard.

Remember too that it is not nice at all to end a relationship without a strong justification on your part. I am no psychologist.

But, it is my strong personal conviction that only promiscuous people otherwise known as "players" end a relationship and begin a new one because they do not know the meaning of true love. And that is why they cannot remain in a relationship for long or have multiple relationships.

Additionally, you display a sign of acute insecurity or immaturity or both when you end a relationship with the flimsiest of all excuses. It is also a reflection of an insensitive personality on your part to the feelings of someone who perhaps still have strong emotions for you.

But, quite frankly, l do not subscribe to the idea or notion that any one should be made to endure a loveless and joyless relationship or even marriage. However, it is always wise to be sure that you indeed want the relationship to end.

So, it is sound counsel to weigh the matter carefully before reaching a final decision. Otherwise, you just might find out later that ending a relationship hastily, without given considerable thought to all aspects of perceived conflicts in the relationship, ultimately results in you trading the old problems in your previous relationship for new ones in your new relationship.

In other words, when you end a relationship without justification, you end up hurting your partner's feelings - an action which is very unfair indeed and might leave a scar that may take many years to heal. So be sure that you indeed want the relationship to end.

The best approach remains to sit your partner down in a peaceful and conducive atmosphere and really talk things over in a calm and mature manner. It should be noted too that the objective of the peace meeting is not to apportion blame to anyone but simply to state the facts as they really are and reach a mutual decision of whether to make amends or simply go separate ways.

Without a doubt, a lot can be achieved through a heart-to-heart, bi-directional communication lines. Irrespective of whether you are the aggrieved party in the conflict or not, you can initiate a truce meeting between your partner and yourself in order to amicably resolve points of conflict in your relationship (for useful guide on how to resolve marital conflicts, please see the web page: resolving marital conflicts).

This now brings us to how to end a relationship peacefully and gracefully.

How to End a Relationship Peacefully

Have you reached a decision to break up with your partner? Then do not foot-drag about it. Get it done and over it! And when you do it, do it in person - unless, of course, your partner is the overly temperamental type who is prone to violent emotional outburst.

Ending a relationship on the phone is acceptable and even recommended in such instances. And remember that the more emotional someone is, the less able they are to absorb things rationally.

Similarly, what you need to realise while initiating this breakup process is that though the two of you no longer see the need to continue with the relationship any longer, there is no need to leave a relationship as sworn enemies with your partner. After all, you need to remember that there used to be a time when you whispered sweet nonsense to each other in the height of passion and throes of pleasure.

Indeed, there used to be a time when the two of you called each other "honey", "sweetie", "sweetheart", "sugar", "baby" and any other such words of endearment as an expression of your professed love for each other.

Additionally, you need to realise too that you entered the relationship peacefully and joyfully of your own free choice. So, why do you want to bring down hailstorm simply because it did not work out between the two of you and now you want the relationship to end?

To this end, some of the fine points to assist you in conducting a peaceful and graceful relationship breakup are detailed below.

1. Preparing for a Relationship Breakup

Do not play games or start ignoring the person before you break up with him or her. If you want it to be over, you should just be brave about it, get it done, simply put it behind you and forge ahead.

The first thing to do is to arrange a convenient time to conduct the relationship breakup session with your partner.

Just in case you live apart from your partner, arrange a time and place where you two can talk in private and ensure that your breakup session won't be interrupted. Give no longer than a few hours notice to your partner that you wish to discuss something very important of mutual interest to both of you.

One online relationship guide suggests as follows: "Make sure that you choose a time and place that will allow for both you and the person that you are about to dump to allow for the time and privacy to do it properly. Don't break up with someone right before they have a big test or are about to go to work.

"Fridays are a kind choice as this will give your ex the weekend to recover somewhat. If you are in a hurry to leave the relationship (can't wait till Friday), tell your partner you need to take some time and are going to stay with a friend for a night or two".

Another point to consider in advance is the level of support you might need as a woman - especially if you were legally married to your partner. Additionally, accept that your partner may express strong feelings about the relationship breakup and may not be as cooperative as you would expect him or her to.

Similarly, be prepared to listen and endeavour not to force an argument during the conversation - no matter how provocative your partner might become.

Think through in advance what you are going to say during the breakup session. Do not expect them to think or react rationally. If at all possible, prepare responses to all possible reactions.

There is absolutely no need whatsoever to end a relationship on a sour note. You should be able to look at your dead relationship with heads high up, shrug your shoulders, shake hands with your partner and simply say "goodbye", perhaps leaving your door wide open for a possible reconciliation - if at all possible.

And even if you do not reconcile and make up again after the passage of a reasonable time, you could render assistance to one another when occasion demands for it. That is how mature people behave.

2. How to Conduct the Breakup Session

$$$ Begin by asking about the welfare of your partner. Endeavour to listen and acknowledge appropriately.

$$$ Lead by saying he/she must have realised this is a different conversation. State your reasons gently - keep it short, no endless explanations.

$$$ Set a realistic time limit if you anticipate an endless conversation.

$$$ Be specific about the reason for the breakup. According to the Bible, "two people cannot walk or work together, unless they agree". It is another way of saying that "birds of the same feather flock together". So, do not express vague responses about it like this: "We are not compatible enough in key areas" and just leave it like that.

You may simply say: "We do not share common values or no longer share the same values where we used to and what matters most to me is irrelevant to you. I don't feel supported by you in my career path, and I don't want to change my path," or, "I want children and you don't," or other, similar, specific details.

$$$ Endeavour to remain calm throughout the relationship breakup session. Do not raise your voice, even if your partner does. It is a sign of maturity on your part when you do and your partner will respect you for it. But, if the situation degenerates and threatens to become a fracas, despite your calm disposition, leave the scene and allow him or her to cool off.

$$$ Trying to "be friends" can prolong the agony. Most often, it is best to make a clean break and spend time apart. After a time, perhaps three months, perhaps a year or more, when you see one another, it won't hurt as much, and then you can try to be friends with a clean slate. Be sensitive and respectful about your ex-partner's needs - he or she may need more time than you. If that's the case, don't just foist yourself on him or her.

If you have reach a decision to end a relationship which has become a source of unending pains and sorrows, there is no need prolonging the death throes or hanging on to the dead relationship. Take decisive steps to put an end to the relationship.

You may very be surprised and shocked to find that your partner may just be pleased that you apparently wanted to end the relationship!

Broken Heart Quotes

www.completecynic.com features some of the very great broken heart quotes that you will find anywhere on the net. I am certain that you will find the site very informative and resourceful.

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